


A Day in the Life

by ChristocentricQueer



Series: Pastor Fell [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author is a Trans Christian Pastor, Catharsis, Christianity, Death, Gen, HIV/AIDS, No beta we fall like Crowley, Pastor Aziraphale, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Trans Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28767666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristocentricQueer/pseuds/ChristocentricQueer
Summary: Pastor Fell returns to work after a weeklong vacation. His first day back is a heavy one.Set in the same AU as "Brave to Stay, Brave to Leave." Aziraphale is a Protestant Pastor in a fictional denomination. He is a trans man. This takes place before Aziraphale meets Crowley.
Series: Pastor Fell [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201400
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	A Day in the Life

**Author's Note:**

> The events in this story are based on true events in my life that took place over a 24 hour period. None of this is exaggerated. This truly is a day in the life of a pastor!

Aziraphale woke up early Saturday morning. He slept terribly, and it wasn’t just because of his ancient mattress (he really needed to get a new one). His mind had been flooded the night before with all he would have to catch up on. He was returning from a weeklong vacation. Much needed, and he spent it resting and reading. But Aziraphale had a feeling there would be quite a few emails and phone calls to return. Not to mention because he was on vacation, Aziraphale had done no sermon preparation whatsoever…He’d have to put all of his faith in God to get _that_ finished.

As he was making himself a cup of tea, his work cell rang. He quickly picked it up off the coffee table and answered. “This is Pastor Fell!” he said cheerfully.

_Hi, Pastor Fell. This is Adelaide…I have some bad news._

He knew exactly what Adelaide had to share with him. He’d been dreading this call. However, Aziraphale wasn’t surprised. He knew in his gut what the outcome was going to be. She’d called him several times during his vacation to keep him updated on Chester’s condition. It was a pastoral care emergency, after all. He paid one visit to Chester the day after he’d been admitted to the hospital.

The visit was not only for Chester’s wellbeing. Aziraphale not only believed hospital visits were important for a pastor to make; it had also been something that mattered deeply to him as a person. Whenever he was able, whether it was a congregant, friend, or even an acquaintance, Aziraphale would go and visit. He’d occasionally bring flowers or a card. A time or two he brought adult coloring books and colored pencils to help folks pass the time. Mostly Aziraphale would pull up a seat and listen to them. Sometimes the conversations would be light, other times quite heavy. No matter how the visit went, Aziraphale always felt that it was an honor and a privilege to be present with someone in these moments. He was also fortunate that hospitals never made him feel uncomfortable or nervous.

Aziraphale’s changed the tone of his voice from cheerful to soft and calm. “Good morning Adelaide, thank you for calling me. What is the news?”

Adelaide sighed. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice. _I was with Chester at the hospital this morning. They got the results back from all the tests… He’s got a few weeks at most._

“I was afraid his condition would be terminal. I will visit him in the hospital this morning. Do you happen to recall the room number he is in?” Aziraphale replied.

_Yes, he’s in room 22. Tired but with it. Chester’s in good spirits. You know how he is._

Aziraphale nodded to himself. “I suppose that is a ray of sunshine within the clouds of Chester’s condition. Adelaide, I want to thank you ever so much for keeping me abreast of the situation as I have been on my ‘stay-at-home vacation’. I am eternally grateful for your love and care for Chester as well. I am truly in awe of your spiritual gifts of compassion and care for those in need.”

 _Thanks for saying that. Means a lot. I’m going to get some sleep and let Kora know what’s going on. He’ll be happy to see you today. Take care, Pastor Fell._ Adelaide’s voice cracked.

He could hear the sadness and exhaustion in her voice. He would call her later in the week to see if he could pay her a visit. For now, Adelaide needed the comfort from her wife more than anyone.

“You too, Adelaide. May you feel God’s loving embrace today, and please send my well-wishes to Kora.”

Their conversation came to an end, and Aziraphale set the phone down on the kitchen counter. He stared at it for a while. The realization that Chester was going to die was sinking in. It would take some time, of course. Even though he’d anticipated the sad news, Aziraphale had been around the block long enough to know shock was still a part of the process.

“Oh bugger it all,” he sighed.

Aziraphale drank his tea and ate a muffin before getting ready. He called for a cab, as the hospital was too far away to walk to. Aziraphale quickly changed into his baby blue clerical shirt, put on his collar, and headed out the door.

***

Chester’s hospital room door was wide open. He could hear music playing softly in the room. It sounded like some new-fangled music. Bebop, Aziraphale imagined. The things young people listened to these days!

Aziraphale knocked politely on the door. “Hello Chester, are you up for a visit?” He took in Chester’s features. The young man was clearly fatigued even though he wore a smile. His long, blonde hair was a mess from sleeping. 

Chester smiled. “Yeah, always a good time to see you. Adelaide left just a little bit ago. Got a seat right here for ya, Pastor Fell. Lemme turn this off real quick.” He silenced the music on his phone.

Aziraphale offered a warm smile to Chester before he sat down. He was thankful the chair didn’t have arms; if it did, Aziraphale wouldn’t have been able to sit down. He wished that a place such as a hospital would consider the comfort of fat people, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Chester held out his hand, and Aziraphale took it in his. Every time he’d visited Chester over the years, he always wanted Aziraphale to hold his hand. It was a comfort to Aziraphale, especially considering Aziraphale was rather touch starved. Had been for many years now.

The two sat in silence for several minutes with their eyes closed. It was a custom in the Beloved Disciples tradition. Aziraphale loved the silence. It gave them both the chance to take deep breaths, calm down, and ground themselves in the moment. He waited patiently for Chester to break the silence.

“Pastor Fell, aren’t you still on vacation? You should be enjoying it, not visiting me here,” Chester said.

“Today is my first day back from vacation, good fellow. Even if I still was, you are very important to me. Seeing you is a blessing.” Aziraphale gently squeezed his hand. “We’ve been holding you in prayer, all of us.”

Chester chuckled. “Thanks, but what can ya do? Healing’s not gonna come.”

“I am praying for comfort in your last days,” Aziraphale answered.

“Good prayer. That’s all they can really do for me now. Could find ways to prolong my life but I’m ready to go Home. I don’t wanna die in pain. The meds have been pretty great…Did Adelaide tell you my plan?” Chester asked.

Aziraphale shook his head no.

Chester continued. “I’ll be moving back to Middleton to be with my parents and grandparents. Six hours North of here, if you’re not familiar. There’s a real nice hospice group there that lets you pass at home. I’ll be discharged from here on Monday. My parents are gonna pick me up. Y’know Pastor Fell, I was born in my childhood home. Guess I’m gonna die there too, if everything goes the way I want it to.”

“I know how close you are to your parents. It’s a wise decision to spend this last chapter with your dear ones. I certainly hope that all will go as you wish,” Aziraphale said.

“Thanks, Pastor Fell. Hopin’ for the same. Don’t know how long I’ve got, but I know it’s not much time. I’m okay with that. God takes care of us, and He’s takin’ care of me now. Just not in the ways I thought it’d happen. And at least I know where I’m goin’. It’ll be nice to meet the Big Guy, I think,” Chester grinned.

Aziraphale smiled. “I must agree with you there, good fellow. God does take care of us, though we cannot possibly know beforehand what His care will look like.”

“That annoys me about Him. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve yelled at God, Pastor Fell.” Chester weakly shook his fist and looked up at the sky. “I want Him to tell me what He’s doing, dammit!” He laughed, and Aziraphale joined him.

After their laughter subsided, they were both silent. Aziraphale sensed it was time to ask a difficult question. They’d never had a chance to have this conversation before, and Aziraphale hoped for some answers.

“Chester, if you don’t wish to discuss this, I understand fully. I do not wish to pressure you. But I was wondering if we could talk about what you’d like for your funeral and memorial service. When you pass away and our community mourns for you, I want to honor your wishes to the best of my ability,” Aziraphale said.

“All my arrangements are taken care of—I’m going to be cremated and my family’ll take care of the financial stuff. My parents want the funeral to take place at Middleton Beloved Disciples Church, the one I was raised in. I want you to give the sermon, Pastor Fell. You’ll need to work with Pastor Parker. She’s been there since before I was born. Real nice pastor. She’s going to lead the service though. Would you be able to go up there when the time comes?” Chester asked with hope in his voice.

Aziraphale put his other hand on Chester’s. “Absolutely, Chester. I will get in touch with Pastor Parker this week so that we can begin discussing the service… How would you like your memorial handled here in Tadfield? I know that not everyone will be able to attend your service. I wish to hold a service here for us to remember you too.”

Chester gave Aziraphale a big smile. “I’m glad you want to do that. You guys have been my family for ten years now. I’d like a Waiting Worship service along with the sermon you give at my funeral. Let people sit in the quiet after your message so people can share memories of me. And another thing.”

“Of course, Chester. What else would you like us to do?”

“I want everyone to wear bright colors like I always do. Well, I would be now if I wasn’t in this damn hospital gown…You’d think by now they’d have some fun ones. Don’t have people wear hospital gowns, even if you find some neon ones,” Chester joked.

Aziraphale couldn’t help but giggle. “I would expect nothing less than bright colors for your memorial, good fellow. I’ll be sure to tell our beloved community what you’ve requested.”

Chester smiled and then yawned. “Sorry, Pastor Fell, but I’m fadin’ a bit. Need some sleep. They poked and prodded me all night and I’m tired.”

“It was wonderful to visit you today, Chester. I’m thankful that I’ve been your pastor for the past decade. It has truly been a blessing and privilege to journey alongside you. Before I take my leave, would you like to me to pray?”

Chester nodded yes.

They both closed their eyes and Aziraphale began. “Our God, I am ever so grateful for Chester’s presence in our lives. I give thanks that You brought him to our beloved faith community. God, I lift Chester up to You. I pray that You will provide him with comfort in the last days of his Earthly life. Hold Chester and all who love him in your Heavenly hands. In Your Holy Name we pray, amen.”

“Amen. I love you, Pastor Fell,” Chester said weakly. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Aziraphale squeezed his hands and fought back tears. “I love you too, good fellow. May you rest and dream of whatever you like best.”

***

As soon as Aziraphale made it home, he changed into his favorite blue sweater, grabbed his Bible and hit the books. He had a sermon to prepare and write! Two hours into his sermon note taking, his work cell rang again. He hoped that it wasn’t more bad news about Chester’s terminal illness.

“Good afternoon, this is Pastor Fell,” he answered.

A woman with a raspy voice began to speak. _Hi, I need to speak to a pastor. Saw there was a Beloved Disciples church here and found the number. But I need to ask you something first; is your church okay with lesbians? Had experiences with some that aren’t okay with me like they’re supposed to be._

Aziraphale had to push down the anger that threatened to bubble to the surface. It disgusted him that there were Beloved Disciples churches that did not live into their call to be fully open and affirming. He knew of them all too well. Bishop Gabriel was one of those fakes who acted like he was accepting, but in reality, he was a queerphobic prick. This woman shouldn’t have had to ask that question. To make sure she was safe before she spoke.

“Ma’am, I promise that we are fully accepting. In fact, I am a transgender man myself,” Aziraphale answered honestly.

The woman breathed a sigh of relief. _Okay, good. My name is Joan…Do you have time to talk or are you busy?_

“I have plenty of time to talk, Joan,” Aziraphale said. People who needed to be heard were more important than sermon prep. It could wait.

_Well, I’m in town for two days…I have to wait here until the bus can take me back to East Alexandria on Monday. Went up North to say my goodbyes to my family, but it didn’t go so hot…I got kicked out when I was sixteen when they found out I was a lesbian. But I thought enough time had passed and they might want to see me._

Aziraphale frowned. It reminded him of when his family excommunicated him, albeit for different reasons. “I’m deeply saddened to hear that, Joan.”

 _Thanks. Pastor, I wanted to try and have some closure. See, I’m dying of AIDS. My life partner died from it two months ago…I never thought this would happen to us. We were always together. But she was assaulted years ago and that’s how we both got it. We didn’t think to get tested since she didn’t have any symptoms. Guess we should’ve. We found out too late. I spent everything I had on these tickets up there and back home, Pastor,_ Joan said.

He couldn’t help the gasp that escaped his lips. It broke his heart to hear that not only had Joan’s family abandoned and condemned her, but the love of her life died and she, too, was dying. Aziraphale knew a phone call probably wasn’t enough. He’d never met her, but it didn’t matter. Joan could use some kindness.

“Joan, I can only imagine what this whole experience has been like for you. I would like to pay you a visit, if you are amenable. If so, where are you staying?” Aziraphale asked.

 _That’d be nice. I’m staying at Motel Five,_ she replied.

“Is there anything you need, Joan?”

_Actually, I could use some food to get me through until I get home. Is that something you’d be able to do?_

“I can certainly purchase some groceries for you, Joan. There is a supermarket that’s only a five- minute walk from Motel Five. You can pick out whatever you’d like. Which room are you in? I can be by your motel room in half an hour,” Aziraphale said.

_Half an hour works just fine, I’ll be ready. I’m in room 1, next to the office._

“Thank you, Joan. I will give you a description of what I look like so you know who is coming by. I am in my late 50s, have white hair, and I am wearing a blue sweater and tan slacks,” he said.

 _Thanks, that’s good to know. I’m really short, middle age, have light brown hair, and weigh next to nothing…AIDS wasting syndrome, along with many other things… I’ll see you soon, Pastor. Thank you again for having time to talk and help me out,_ Joan replied, and then hung up.

Joan was waiting outside of her motel room when Aziraphale arrived. She was clearly nearing the end of her life. AIDS had taken its toll on her. She was missing most of her teeth, she looked exhausted, and she was tiny. It had been quite a while since Aziraphale had journeyed alongside someone with AIDS. He’d been a hospice chaplain for those dying from the virus for many years, but he’d left chaplaincy ministry twenty years ago. The memories of all of those people, of _him_ …It all came back. Aziraphale knew he’d have a lot to process after this pastoral care visit. But that would have to wait.

“Hello Joan, it’s nice to meet you,” he stuck out his hand and Joan shook it.

She smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too, Pastor. Thanks for making time on such short notice. Didn’t really know who to call. Saw that there was a Beloved Disciples church and thought that was my best bet. Didn’t actually start going to church until Veronica and I went after we were diagnosed. She wanted to rekindle her relationship with God before she died. Glad that I have too, because I know I wouldn’t be here still without the Lord’s help,” Joan said.

“God does indeed give us strength to get through challenging times. I know I have leaned on my faith many times to handle the difficult chapters in my life,” Aziraphale replied.

He struggled with the theological belief that God was keeping Joan alive. Aziraphale didn’t really believe God did things like that, especially given the horrible things Aziraphale had seen throughout his life. But this was Joan’s truth, and he would not challenge her. Whatever helped her in her final stretch of life was fine. As long as it helped and didn’t hurt, what did it really matter?

“Yeah, Veronica loved the church. I haven’t been much since she died. Just too hard and I don’t feel close to anyone there. Reverend Juan is a good minister, but he’s been out of town for a while because of a family crisis. I wish I could’ve talked with him before I went to say goodbye to my family. My doctor was angry with me for leaving town because I’m so weak, but he didn’t understand why. I had to try. Ended up being hospitalized twice on my way up to see my family though…As soon as I get back home, I’ll be admitted straight to the hospital. My doctor’s really worried about me. He’s right though, I’m not doing well,” Joan said.

Aziraphale nodded in sympathy. “As a queer person, I understand the needing to see your family even if it’s not understood by others. I’m so sorry that you were not met with the love and kindness you deserve.”

Joan sighed. “Mhm, they were bad when I was a teen. But they started reading about this church in England…Church of Divine Purification, I think? They’re dressing like them, talking like them, believing like them now. And those nutjobs _hate_ us. You’d think my family would be smarter than getting into hateful stuff, but I guess I had too much hope for them.”

He visibly shuddered at the mention of the Church of Divine Purification. They weren’t a church at all; they were a terrible, dangerous cult. He hadn’t realized that their ideology had made its way to the United States. But then again, the internet made anything possible.

Aziraphale and Joan walked to the grocery store. They had to walk slowly; Joan was having a difficult time breathing and was very tired. She made a remark that she “felt like death warmed over” all the time. It didn’t surprise Aziraphale by any means. He’d seen it countless times, and he’d barely avoided Joan’s fate during the AIDS Crisis.

Joan didn’t want many things, and even if she had Aziraphale wouldn’t have cared. He was thankful for the time he could spend with Joan. If he could show her at least a little kindness and make her feel loved, then that’s what he would do. Groceries and conversation were the only ways he could offer support. She got a variety of things: bread, lunch meat, mustard, several cans of soup, a 2 liter of pop, cookies, several packs of chocolate nutritional shakes, and anti-nausea pills. Joan could hardly keep food down anymore; she had Kaposi sarcoma in her GI tract that contributed to it. The pills only did so much, but it was better than nothing.

By the time they’d finished shopping, Joan was completely exhausted. Aziraphale brought her shopping bags into the motel room and put them on the counter.

“I’d like you to stay for a bit, but I’m too tired, Pastor. Can we talk on the phone tomorrow?”

Aziraphale nodded and smiled. “Of course, I will be available after noon. Call me any time after then, when you are ready. If you would like me to drop by and pay you a visit in person, I am also happy to do that. I hope you’re able to get some rest tonight, Joan.”

***

Before Aziraphale went home, he decided to pop by the church. He wanted to check the mail and grab a commentary from his office. As soon as he stepped into the church, he stubbed his toe on something. He looked down and jumped in surprise. It was cremains in a square, marble urn! Aziraphale had no idea who left them there or when they were put there. The cremains had the person’s name, date of death, and the funeral home that performed the cremation on it. Aziraphale didn’t recognize the name. And much to his surprise, the person died 25 years ago!

After Aziraphale calmed down from the surprise, he read the information on the urn. It was a woman’s cremains. Her name was Ruby Yelle, died in 1995, and the funeral home that took care of her was O’Flannery’s. Having the cremains abandoned at his church was odd enough, but it was the fact that they were _inside_ the church that disturbed him. Who brought them in? Who just left them there without a note? What was he supposed to do with them?

Aziraphale made a quick phone call to Sexton Shadwell, who took care of the church grounds. Shadwell also did a variety of work for the funeral homes in Tadfield. If anyone would know who she was and how she ended up in the church, it was him.

“Hello, Shadwell, it’s Pastor Fell. I’m calling in regard to a rather odd find at the church… Do you happen to know how the cremains of Ruby Yelle ended up in the building? Also, do you know her?”

 _Aye, Pastor Fell. The urn was on the doorstep the day after ye left. I dunna know who she is. Never heard of her,_ Shadwell said.

“Thank you, Shadwell. But please let me know as soon as something like this happens again. Finding cremains gave me quite a start!”

Sexton Shadwell grunted something unintelligible and hung up.

Aziraphale sighed. He had abandoned cremains in his church. The man who would’ve known who she was didn’t. Aziraphale hurried to his office and flipped through their record book of church members. Ruby wasn’t in it. He hated the mystery of it. Who abandoned her there? Why? Did she have family in the area? What kind of person was she? But he had to accept the fact that he’d never know.

Aziraphale pulled out a phone book and looked up O’Flannery’s. Fortunately, they knew what to do. The man on the phone told him to drop Ruby off during their office hours on Monday. He thanked them for their time. Aziraphale knew this would be an interesting story to tell one day, but not anytime soon.

By the time he made it home, all of his energy was gone. There was no way that Aziraphale would be able to write his sermon that night. Aziraphale showered, crawled into bed, and prayed that God would put a message on his heart come Sunday morning.


End file.
